Adriana - A fantastic example of teamwork.

It is amazing what we can do if we work together as a team. In this rainbow nation, one of our major flaws is indeed one of the chief contributors to our success: Teamwork. Sometimes we display it in spades and achieve great things, but other times we lose sight of our combined power by focussing on our differences instead of our similarities.

Take the example below of how all of the Gods of every religion in history teamed up with every conceivable God of the future, and called other Demigods in as consultants. They pooled their collective resources and devised what we mere mortals now know as Adriana Lima.

It's torture for the guys and simply not fair on the girls. (sigh)

I know you havent missed me!

I know, I know. I haven't posted anything for ages, but in all honesty it is really tricky keeping your blog up to date. How many of you have honestly kept up to date with postings. PlanetPi is regularly updated, but I know that gildergoesdutch is due for a post or two.

Shit is happening left right and centre with mates getting engaged, the lifelonglove starting a new job pretty soon and with mates doing an insane amount of travelling. Close friends' travel destinations include Bermuda, Mauritius, Barcelona, Montreal, Vancouver, and countless others.

What amazes me i how quickly you simply fall back into the same routines with which you are comfortable once you meet back up with mates that have been away for a while. Just the other day we played a few hands of poker and needless to say, within 20 minutes we were pulling the piss out of each other, and withing two hours I was relegated to the couch for disturbing the lifelonglove's beauty-rest. Oh well. I won a few hands I suppose.

Anyway, from now I hope to post at leaset once a week. Ciao

Naughty vs. Nice - My money's on naughty

Morning all. Every now and again I come accross some truly decent work done on the web. This is very much in its testing phase at the moment, but it certainly is getting tongues wagging.

I was asked to do some usability testing (which in this case i was MORE than happy to do) by Feisty Female

I'd love to hear what you think. It's the eternal question:

Naughty or Nice - You decide!

Have a gander at http://www.naughtyvsnice.com and embrace the daring duo.


Definitely not for under 18's

What a monumental cock!

I was sitting watching the world's most depressing show - Carte Blanche - last night when lo and behold, I received the following text message:

"I dont hav energy 2 fight anymore.I dont want 2 fight a losing battle.I can c ..@ feel that u are no longer interested in this relationship.U are still on comfort zone.I cant b on leave than hav sleepless nights.Enjoy in ur promised new comfort zone.Dont come 2 me apoloqizing bcos u already hav intention.I am going 2 divorce u.I dnt threaten u.It is over between me @ u."

Jeez this oke is a toss!.

Firstly. What dick tells his wife that he is going to divorce he through that ever-so-personal communication method, the SMS?

Secondly, he sent it to me, which means it can safely be assumed that he punched the number into his phone incorrectly, which leads me to believe that he did not have the number saved on his phone.

What dickhead doesn't have his wife's number saved on his phone. Thias one apparently.

UK Lottery Results - 19 April 2008

For the UK National Lottery players out there, here are your results for last night. Remember, you can always grab up to £ 42 Million at PlayUKlottery.com The next draw jackpot for this coming Wednesday is sitting on around £3,000,000!

That's big cash in anyone's language.

EuroMillions Results - 18 April 2008

The EuroMillions lottery jackpot has been won, which means that next week's jackpot is sitting at €15 Million. If you are keen to buy tickets, go to PlayEuroMillions.com.

If you can get your head around those whopping jackpot numbers, you might actually find yourself entering PlayEuroMillions.com's Monaco 2008 competition. Just click on the banner below and get yourself ready for the Grand Prix event of the year.

This one takes the cake

I highlighted a few choice 'Lost in translation' items in an earlier post, but I have to say, they all pale in comparison to this one. Thanks Tas for sending it to me. I mean... have you ever? (click on the image for the full-size image)


Say no more...

Religious fundamentalism in the West?

We are often surprised at how extreme certain religions can be. But let us not forget how close to home this type of fundamentalism can be. This shit baffles me. I dont understand how people can let this happen. This religious group (read cult) advocates polygamy and is a mormon sect.

My advice: Get the fuck out! Leave the bastards that oppress you and make a plan to be normal. This may be the life you know, but there are others out there that take steps to better their lives. Do the same.

The flip side to my opinion is naturally, who is the State to say that this is in the best interests of the children. Surely it is better for them to be with their parents than in some sports stadium? Who knows?

Here is a clip from NBC that explains it further.

What a happy family:

UK Lottery Results - 12 April 2008

For the UK National Lottery players out there, here are your results for last night. Remember, you can always grab up to £ 42 Million at PlayUKlottery.com The next draw jackpot for this coming Wednesday is sitting on around £3,000,000!

That's big cash in anyone's language.

You've just gotta love shmodels...

Dont get me wrong, I absolutely adore models, but when it comes to fashion shows and ramp modelling, I more often than not tip my hat only to the Victoria's Secret type shows purely because i reside in the fasshion wilderness, and partly because i feel that emaciated stick taking themselves far too seriously are simply not worth watching.

Take for example the incredibly beautiful Adriana Lima:


She simply can not be faulted. She is probably the most beautiful woman in the world, in the truest sense of the word beautiful.

However, when I see undernourished European girls strutting their stuff on stage and displaying the most arrogant facial expressions, I beg the universe for the stage to come crashing down. Call me a bastard if you must, but when it happens, I simpy die laughing.

Here is a small montage of some of the inspirational occurrences:





Both are absolute classics!

EuroMillions Results - Triple Rollover

The EuroMillions lottery jackpot has rolled over for a third time, which means that next week's jackpot is sitting at a giant €57 Million. If you are keen to buy tickets, go to PlayEuroMillions.com.

If you can get your head around those whopping jackpot numbers, you might actually find yourself entering PlayEuroMillions.com's Monaco 2008 competition. Just click on the banner below and get yourself ready for the Grand Prix event of the year.

Toaster twit!

I know we are all jumpy about security in SA, especially if you stay in the cities. Me too. In fact, I am so jumpy I bought myself one of those flick-sticks. You know, the kind that extends telescopically to reveal a mean striking metal bar for which to donder the kuk out of okes wif.


Anyhoo, last night I heard a blood-curdling scream followed by a man's deep voice that could have been either concern or threat. I dont know which as in my semi-somnent state, I was still busy telling Monica Bellucci that she would be welcome to stay over as long as she cooks my favourite recipe in the buff (at least, that is what I have chosen to remember of my dream).

Having snapped out of it, I realised that the scream came either from the flat next-door, or from the one above. So I kicked into damsel-in-distress-rescuing mode and whipped on my jeans (only the urgency of the situation stopped me from wrapping a rugby sock round my forehead and putting shoe-polish under my eyes). I grabbed my flick-stick and headed for the door.

When I got outside I scanned the surrounding areas to find nothing but my neighbour in his shower towel, also looking up to see where the commotion was coming from. With all the bravado and adrenalin of a Pamplonan teenager on the 6th of July, I ran upstairs, knocked on the door and bellowed, "Is everyone OK in there?" Needless to say my voice lost it just after 'OK' and I squeaked the last two words not unlike said teenage Pamplonan.

Lo and behold, my upstairs neighbour opens the door and looks at me like I am insane. He tells me that his girlfriiend had electrocuted herself on the toaster. Thinking that I could go from crime-preventer to life-saver, I thought back on my CPR lesson and how to jumpstart the poor girl's kicker, when she comes up behind him, holding her hand and wailing like a spoilt child.

I shit you not, without skipping a beat, she looks at me and says, "I'll be OK, I think I am still in shock."

In Shock??? Electrocuted??? Is is just me or is a zap from a toaster not slightly different to being electrocuted?

From the scream, you would have thought she was all alone and had woken to find Jacob Zuma standing over her bed with his shower cap on.

Massively deflated at the prospect of absolutely nothing of any significance whatsoever happening to anyone, I came back downstairs and tried to go back to bed. Have you ever tried to sleep after an arenaline rush...

Exactly, hence my writing of this post at 1.30am. Gnight.

UK National Lottery Results - 05 April 2008

For the UK National Lottery players out there, here are your results for last night. Remeber, you can always grab your £ 42 Million at PlayUKlottery.com The next draw jackpot for this coming Wednesday is sitting on around £3,000,000!

EuroMillions - Double Rollover! - Results for Fri 04 April 2008

The EuroMillions lottery jackpot has rolled over again, which means that next week's jackpot is sitting at a giant €43 Million. If you are keen to buy tickets, go to PlayEuroMillions.com.

If you can get your head around those whopping jackpot numbers, you might actually find yourself entering PlayEuroMillions.com's Monaco 2008 competition. Just click on the banner below and get yourself ready for the Grand Prix event of the year.

Foot-fault

Morning all.

Time for the daily excercize routine. This routine has been meticulously planned and arranged by trained professionals, and is for co-ordinated people only! If you suffer from any 'unco-ness' I suggest you stop right there.

Do not try this unsupervised.

1. While sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make small clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand.

Hang on a bit. I coulda sworn I said this was only for co-ordinated people.

Keep practising.

Naomi back in jail

Hot she definitely is...

Classy, she definitely isn't.

This week Naomi again proved she dyes her hair by going off her overly made-up face at an airport security guard.

She ranted and raved as only Naomi can and eventually spat in the guard's face.

Grace, poise and class personified...

P.S. Ever noticed that if you rearrange the letters in Naomi, you get: I Moan. Who said this blog isn't thought provoking?

Beijing gets ready for the Engrish!

As you know, the 2008 Olympic Games will be held in the city of Beijing. With the inevitable influx of English-speaking visitors, Beijing is making a concerted effort to ensure that both public facilities and commonly used items are labelled accordingly.

Here are a few of their initial attempts:

"That's a call-to-action right there"

"Some of the Vortex faithful would love this one"

"A round of apprause prease..."

"I knew it!"

"Here you go Crippie, have a seat"

I got 11 at first - Kinda freaky

I was pretty freaked out when I realised just how much our perceptions can alter what it is we see. Here is a great example.

AWARENESS TEST

This just in: "Zuma's moral character flawed"

I don't believe it. Could it really be? Could the bastion of moral fortitude and uprightness that is JZ possibly have a crack in his otherwise flawless armour?

Say it aint so...

There will, without doubt, be a vast amount of articles and postings about the statements made this week by UNISA rector, Barney Pityana.

Here are some of the pearls:

"To many of us, Jacob Zuma remains a flawed character in his moral conduct; he has been indicted for serious crimes that involve corruption and dishonesty."

"Anyone aspiring to become a head of state must understand the obligation that binds one to honour the spirit and the letter of the Constitution, to order their personal conduct as if it is an open constitutional text [and] to internalise its precepts as binding on one's life."

"This is the same as electing convicted criminals to high political office, by advocating criminal conduct as political and thus making it acceptable to subvert the law."

"When leaders do that they numb citizens to aversion to such conduct and make it a very attractive "cat-and-mouse" game as long as one does not get caught."

These are damning statements indeed, and do not lack substance. Jacob Zuma certainly makes no visible effort to ensure that, morally at least, he is beyond reproach, but rather subverts discussion thereby indicating his perception that he is above it.

What worries me far more is that this comes as a surprize to many. Too many people simply ignore the transgressions of political figures or treat them as understandable owing to past attrocities, thereby tacitly ratifying them and fostering a political "hit & run" culture.

For South Africa's sake People, we have to wake up and rid our land of this element. Jacob Zuma is the tip of a corrupt iceberg.

He is too arrogant to give a damn.

C&H for the Day!

UK Lottery Results - 29 March 2008

And for those UK Lottery fans out there, here are your results for last night. Remeber, you can always grab your £ 42 Million at PlayUKlottery.com

EuroMillions results - Friday 28 March 2008

For those of you that play the EuroMillions Lottery, it has rolled over, which means that next week's jackpot is sitting at a very tempting €27 Million. If you are keen to buy tickets, go to PlayEuroMillions.com.

Oh sure, but can he keep it up?

This is a fluke of note, but it reminds me of a time when friends and I were outside what was "O-Bar" in Herms, and I flicked my entjie butt. It landed burning-cherry-side up! I shit you not. Standing prouder than a honeymooner's dick in full view of everyone.

I have witnesses, OK!

Bunny! Ball-ball!

This is why a daschund is the only 'small dog' i will ever own.



Quality!

Them's child-bearing hips Mister!

A colleague of mine has enlightened me by pointing out the world's first pregnant man. Before you freak out completely, let me point out that Thomas Beatie was previously a woman, but has since partaken in the trangenderfication process.

Strange as this may seem at first, it becaomes strangerer and strangerer when you consider the circumstances that must inevitably follow:

The Hip-Hop scenario:

Word! I cant roll with my homies tonight. You know: Baby Papa Drama!

The Cape Flats scenario:

Jy! Jou ma se... nee jou pa se....

I could go on, but it is just too easy.

Another thing is that if he is the first man to bear a child, he quite possibly could be the first guy to have his period. Can you imagine how cranky he would get if he couldn't find the remote?

Food for thought...

Amnesty vs. Accountability

It starts...

Our media is about to debate the next chapter in the farce that is the arms deal. One which could definitely - in the eyes of the rest of the world - destroy South Africa's already waning reputation and culminate in ours becoming the next African country to collapse into a helpless meltdown.

We as 'Proudly South African' optimists will defend our beautiful land to the bitter end, armed with the oft-sung slogans of a rainbow nation and continued notions of rectifying the 'Legacies of Apartheid'.

Personally, I am tired of this fight, as the reality that we now face seems to me to be equally evil. I will no longer blindly support our country with the same fervour that a religious zealot uses to justify his inability to question (or even acknowledge) any notion that differs from his own.

Have we lost the inclination to question our leaders, owing to their disadvantaged pasts, when it is the very actions they undertook in their recent past which causes their reputations to be questioned?

Before I lose it completely, I am referring to this article posted on News24 today, in which the potential for amnesty for those involved in the Arms deal is being considered. I must be completely honest when I say that this terrifies me. It is, to our justice system, what Marijuana is to drug addiction: The first step in a perilous downward spiral.

Why is it that when parliamentarians commit fraud (Travelgate) they are not prosecuted criminally, but simply removed from office? Even those prosecuted and found guilty simply serve a ridiculously abbreviated sentence in relative luxury and then saunter home even more respected for their apparent suffering. The punishment does not fit the crime.

Were a starving man to rob a convenience store to feed his family, would he not feel the full wrath of the law? Am I wrong in feeling a massive sense of imbalance? Is this not the country's "Neo-Apartheid": The discrimination of New South Africans (irrespective of colour) by those who are now abusing the fact that their pasts were disadvantaged?

Unrepentant forgiveness in South Africa is the rape of the country by those to whom it has been entrusted and it simply must be stopped. Giving amnesty to those involved in the arms deal is a tacit ratification of their actions, and it sets the most dangerous precedent possible - that any action, no matter how illegal, can be tolerated if argued long enough. That no man is accountable for his actions if, in his past, he has struggled for 'the People'.

The saddest irony is that those who suffer most at the hands of corrupt oppressors are the same people that are easiest to influence.

Can we afford to sacrifice accountability at the altar of amnesty?

Cindy Reynders' Birthday

It is Cindy Reynders' birthday today and this little C&H is just for her. Happy Birthday Cinds, from the crew.


Just so you know, you share your birthday with:

1. Kiera Knightley
2. Diana Ross
3. Leonard Nimoy (Dr. Spock)

Hane a rocking day Cinds!

Mozart se moer

Im spent...

I am thouroughly impressed with people that readily display ridiculous amount of skill. This shit makes "America's got Talent" and other aparent talent shows look stupid.



Off the hook.

Miss vH becomes Mrs. T

Sorry, I know this is a very late post, but we only got our pics recently, and yes, she is that beautiful. That is my wife: Leoni Thomas (and me).

This is my favourite of all of our pics. It was taken by Shanna Jones our appointed photographer on the day.

Shanna was great, and if you want to get in touch with her you can find her details here.

More picks on Flickr

MONACO 2008 - Serious Prize

I'm gonna punt this till the cows come home, because I would love one of my mates to win it. Our holding company www.playukinternet.com is running their annual Monaco 2008 competition(Click on the Monaco banner when you get to the home page). The prize is pretty epic and includes a pit-lane tour with Alan McNish, an ex F1 Driver (for those that don't follow F1).



You'll also get a week in Monaco at your leisure and all the spendiong cash you will ever need. Get to the site and see how it all works. You can get all the info you need at http://www.playeuromillions.com. Just click on the Monaco banners to go through.

No Bogroll, no meat, let's go for a 1300km jog!

There are causes out there that are worth supporting. But I consider a lot of them to be a load of crap as most of the funds generated go to the organisers, rather than to the intended recipients. Let me give you an example: The next brainless hag that interrupts my romantic dinner to peddle me a rose for a mere R20-00 will get an earful as I know for a fact that 5c in every rand goes to the blind.

But I do know of a cause that is worth looking into. I also know that fuck-all people read my blog, so this might not help, but I am posting it anyway, and I hope that some of you might "know a guy who knows a guy". The site is:

http://www.tanyann.com/chett

Chett Vosloo - aided for part of his trip by another good mate Mike Arbuthnot - has finished a mission to run the coast of India. No typo there, just a 1300km ball-busting, blister-inducing marathon of note.


This is Chett with one of the more seasoned locals.

I respect their efforts in a big way, due in no small part to my inability to run a bath, let alone the coast of one of the world's biggest countries.

Check out the site and if you can, drop a few rands into the kitty. If that is too much, forward it on and see if we can help get the ball rolling.

It really is a good cause.

Why the Name?

This is pretty simple. I have called my blog 'informd' (ĭn-fôrmd') and I would love to know what you think of the name. My reasoning behind the name is as follows: To be 'informd' is to know what is going on in your space and the spaces of those you care for. I am not saying I am 'informd', but merely stating that i aspire to be so.

Added to that, the name serves as a call to action. i.e. Inform D! Tell David what you think. Start a conversation and see what the response is.

Anyway, even if you think it is complete horseshit, let me know.

informd launches with barely a ripple.

Bearing in mind that this is my first post, I am not expecting vast amounts of traffic to be flocking my way like sardines in June. All I can hope for is a few readers that may share my opinions on topics worth laughing at, with or about.

Alternatively, there may be people out there that consider my thought processes deeply flawed. I invite them to pull the piss out of me and have a go, because I certainly plan to return the favour. Perhaps this is purely my attempt to be part of the blogosphere and ensure that my words are documented. Perhaps it is just an attempt to keep a diary for the first time in my life. Who knows? Who cares? Read it if you must. Dismantle it if you are so inclined, but make sure you know what it is that you are dismantling.